Just A Dream
by constantlydreaming
Summary: One afternoon, one family will receive one letter, that will change their lives forever. How will they cope?  Caution: First story   iffy writing. One shot.


**A Little Background:**

**Kevin and Danielle are married. Joe and Demi are married. Nick is single.**

**They all live together. No one is famous.**

**Denise, Kevin Sr. and Frankie are dead. :( [Sorry]**

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I wish I hadn't ever opened that door. Although, I suppose even if Demi or Nick had opened the door, it still would have happened. However, it happened how it happened and that was the end of it. Sadly.

"May I help you?" I asked the man in uniform on our doorstep. He was stalky, with broad shoulders and a shiny badge on his cap. He pulled an envelope from a hidden pocket inside his jacket and held it out, silently. I took it and slid my fingernail under the sealed flap, my eyes never leaving the man.

He stood still and alert, with a just a hint of emotion that I couldn't identify, that flickered over his eyes, but was gone in an instant.

I took a piece of paper, folded three times, from inside the envelope and unfolded it just as Nick was coming up behind me.

He said something, but I couldn't hear him. I stared at the letter as all of the print blurred, except for the fraction of a sentence that will be engraved on my mind and heart forever.

"...Kevin Grey was killed..."

Suddenly I felt light headed and the whole world was spinning. I was aware of a burning acid, that I found to be tears, engulfing my eyes and stinging my cheeks. A gauzy curtain clouded my view of the world, and my head was swimming. I had a sick feeling in my stomach, as though I were falling, and my knees went weak.

I collapsed on the floor and lay there for what seemed like years. I shook my head and clenched my fists, pressing my body into the floor, as if willing it to open up and swallow me, so that I could be alone in the basement instead of throwing what must have looked like a hissy fit in front of Nick and the man.

The burning tears poured from my eyes endlessly, as though the ocean was entering my head and leaving it, little drops at a time. I felt the hot, salty water pooling beside my cheek on the hard wood floor and cried some more.

How could this be happening? He promised me he'd come home! He promised! There must have been a mistake!

No, I thought, there was no mistake. Kevin's gone. Forever.

I felt an icy hand reach into my chest and close around my heart. It squeezed gently, then put more and more pressure on it, as it broke piece by piece, one at a time, each fragment bringing back a memory. The day we first met, our first date, the time we drove until we had no idea where we were, and parked to spend the night. His proposal, our engagement party, the wedding day, and so on and so forth.

Eventually, as the memories led up to the last time I'd seen him. I remembered his exact words.

"Nothing is going to happen to me, Danni. I promise. I'm going to come home. And I'm going to be okay."

I had let him go, with tears in my eyes, and a hand on my heart.

But he didn't come back. He wasn't home and he wasn't okay. He was gone. He was dead! And I was angry.

"You promised!" I screamed at the ceiling. "You promised you'd come home!" More tears erupted in the corners of my eyes, and began to slide down my temples as I rolled onto my back to scream again. "You promised Nick! You promised Demi! You promised _me_! You promised our_ baby_!"

I rolled back onto my side and cried some more, stroking my belly.

I whispered through my sobs. "How could you?"

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Nick's POV

I sat on my bed, hands laced together, elbows on my knees, staring down at the floor.

I couldn't believe it. Kevin was the oldest. The strongest. How could he be gone?

A soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I didn't want to be rude, so I mumbled that I hadn't locked the door and closed my eyes.

"I brought you some comfort food," came a soft voice behind me. I inhaled the scent of beef stew and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. You may think that this combination is a bit odd, but it was actually very popular in our family.

I turned my head slightly to see Demi setting a plate of it on my bedside table.

"I'm not very hungry," I admitted. She nodded.

"I understand. I just figured that you may not want to leave the room for a while, so I brought food to you for when you are hungry." She stood in silence for a few seconds, then excused herself and walked toward the door.

"Dems?"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind staying for a few minutes? I'd like to talk to someone."

"Of course," she said in that voice that she uses when she is very tired, but doesn't want to do anything about it.

She came around in front of me and sat in the chair by the window. Her eyes were a murky brown today, like the water in a muddy puddle, and slow moving, as was the rest of her body.

Since we'd received the news about Kevin, a few days ago now, she'd been moving about the house, cooking, cleaning, running errands, doing anything to keep herself busy and make herself useful. She was as tired and upset as any of us, but she rarely showed it.

She mostly wore an expressionless mask. However, I had been up late one night recently, and heard soft crying coming from inside her room. The next morning her eyes were rimmed red.

As for Danielle, she hadn't left her room since that first afternoon when we received the letter.

We were also informed that Joe would be coming home soon on leave, at around the same time Kevin's casket would arrive. While, we were all relived that Joe was alright, Kevin's death clouded what should have been a joyful reunion between us.

After a while of sitting in silence, trying to figure out how I would start, I began to talk.

I thought I would just say what I wanted to and what I thought would help me, but as soon as I began, I couldn't stop and began saying things I didn't even know I felt. Some of it shocked me, greatly.

"It's just...he was always there to take care of us. We could go to him for anything, and he'd always do his best to help. Kevin was someone you could count on. He was honest and kind and...funny as hell..." We both smiled, recalling some of the witty remarks he would make that sent us all into giggling spells. "He kept his promises... That is... until now."

I rested my head in my hands and listened as Demi took a deep breath.

"I know that it feels like he just kind of, left us-"

"No! He did!" My head snapped up from its resting position. "He did leave us, Demi! In fact, he deserted us!"

"Well, it wasn't like it was his choi-" I stood up suddenly.

"Do you think that we'll be okay without Kevin? Because, if you do, you're insane!" I began to pace the room. "He did _everything_, Demi! He took care of _everything_!"

"I'm not saying-"

"Yes you are! You're sitting there, calm as anything, pretending that everything will be fine and dandy, even though my brother just died! I mean, what the hell?"

She stood quietly and made her way towards me.

"Look, Nick, maybe you should just take some time alone and calm down-"

"Calm down? Do you think I'm overreacting, Demi? Well, I'm sorry for being upset that my brother died! I'm sure it's very annoying to those who don't have a heart!"

Demi's calm mask broke away and revealed a look of surprise, then anger. Her mouth was mashed into a frown and tears were beginning to form as she raised her hand and slapped me across the face.

"Nicholas Grey, if you think that I don't care about Kevin's death, screw you! I am not heartless and I don't deserve to be called so!"

She stomped out and slammed the door behind her.

I put a hand to where my cheek stung and stared at the closed door, wide eyed.

For the rest of the day, Demi ignored and avoided me at all costs. As horrible as I was feeling before, I was feeling worse now, because I'd ruined my chances at having someone to talk to for I didn't know how long.

At the end of the afternoon, Demi went to bed early and I walked up to her door to apologize, but stopped myself, because I could hear her quiet crying, muffled by the door.

Later that night, I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, and wondering what life would be like without Kevin.

I remember having a dream that night, that I would never forget.

I was standing at the edge of the ocean, staring out to the horizon as the sun slowly began to set.

"Nick," came a familiar voice. I whipped around to see Kevin standing just behind me. The left corner of his mouth was turned up in a kind of half smile. "How are you?" he asked.

"Horrible," I admitted. "I just don't know, Kev. I don't know how any of us are ever going to figure out how to go through this death trap with out you."

"Death trap, meaning, life?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've lost so much already. Frankie, Mom, Dad, now you? I just..." I sighed, trying to come up with words to express what I was feeling. "What's the point in loving, if you're only going to lose the ones you love? And what's the point in living if you're only going to die? I just don't think I can do this anymore. Sometimes I feel like this isn't even worth it."

"Nick, I know you don't believe that." He pointed behind me. "Look."

I turned around and saw the sun dipping behind the horizon, looking as if it were sliding into the sea.

"It looks like the sun is falling into the water. As though it were dying," I said.

"It kind of does," Kevin agreed. "But it also looks like the sun is _melting_ into the water and turning it gold, while the sky creates a sort of unique rainbow that could never be replicated. It looks like a painting, almost."

"Yes... it does... Or like the sun's breaking into little pieces from the bottom, and the little pieces are flying up into the sky to create stars."

"Exactly."

I observed the landscape, then turned to Kevin.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Well, at first you observed how the sun was 'dying.' Then, you saw different ways that it could be just turning into something else. Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

"That when something dies, it becomes a part of something else for the benefit of that thing?"

"For the benefit of _both_. Because, you see, the sun _will_ rise again."

"So, you may leave, but it will benefit other things, and you'll be reborn, anyway?"

"And create something beautiful in the process. But it won't happen in such a way as this, if you don't let me go."

"I just don't want to forget you. None of us do."

"You haven't forgotten Mom, or Dad, or Frankie. You won't forget me. I promise."

"The last promise you made, you broke."

"And I'm sorry for that," Kevin said, genuinely, looking up at the newly starlit sky. "But I'll keep this one."

"So, I get that you're the sun, but what are we supposed to be? Danielle, Joe, Demi, and I, I mean."

"The ocean. The sky. The beach. Whatever was already here that may benefit." He pointed up at the moon. "And do you see that?"

I looked up at it. It was in the early stages of waxing, so that it was just a sliver of silver light. "Yes."

"That's my daughter." I looked at Kevin and he gave me another half smile. "Be a father to her, will you?"

"Oh, Kev. Danni's pretty 'n all but-" He punched me in the arm and we smiled.

"Smart ass," he joked. I smiled.

"I promise."

"Try to help Danni, okay?" he said. I nodded.

"Okay."

"I love you, little brother," he said, pulling me in for a hug.

"I love you too. We all do."

He faded in my arms and I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling of my bedroom.

"Well _that_ was totally ABC Family."

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**So, that's my first story.**

**I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should continue to write so I need some help.**

**If you'd like, I can write another one shot or something because I know that one story isn't a lot to go on.  
**

**Review?  
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